Sunday, March 13, 2011

St. Patrick's Day 2011

I was surprised by the lack of noise on this past Saturday’s St. Patrick’s Day public urination fest. It was a lot better than years gone by and I am at a loss to figure out why. Perhaps it was because the kiddies spent more time drinking instead of yelling? The Post Gazette reports that there were 37 citations for public urination (only 37); eight for failure to clean up urine (how?); 18 for public intoxication (Joe Wilson: You Lie!); six for possessing an open container of alcohol (how does one drink out of a closed container?); two for harassment; six for disorderly conduct; one for criminal mischief; and two for obstructing a passage way (just walk over him). This was just on the South Side.

Also, there were a handful of arrests: one person was arrested for drunken driving (I think there were more); two for possessing a controlled substance; one for public intoxication; one for prowling; one for criminal trespass, resisting arrest and theft; and one for marijuana possession, public intoxication, escape, public urination.

What I want to know is how do you clean up urine and did the cops cite the homeowner? Actually, the Post went to bed (that’s real newspaper talk) too early or they would have gotten the big scoop. One young woman had a night she will never forget and it wasn’t sex in the city. She was in the 1800 block of East Carson Street at 3 am when some male wanted to show her his manhood. He hit her in the face and knocked out three or four of her teeth. The police nabbed him on 17th & Carson and took him to the County Jail where he should have his lucky charms removed.

I was a bit concerned that the cops were going to close Carson Street when I saw all the barricades at every intersection. Apparently they were just placed there so the kiddies would have something to play with at 3:30 am. As I went to breakfast early Sunday morning I got to watch some of the partygoers sleeping at intersections and going thru those pesky red lights. Hey, this is why people from the world over are flying in to America’s most drinkable city.

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